A quote from Leo Tolstoy’s book War and Peace
sums up my exact ideals of Conflict and Peace, “The strongest of all warriors
are these two—Time and Patience” (Tolstoy, 2007). There are many great
articles that have followed since the work of Leo Tolstoy and
the publication of War and Peace that references the ideals and mannerisms
of Conflict and Peace, but rarely has one been able to capture the ideals of
Conflict and Peace, without experiencing it first.
This can be experienced in a number of different ways ranging from actual conflict in war, to arguing with a family member at the dinner table. These two examples are very similar in logic, both fall under the premise of conflict, and on occasion both examples can find a peaceful resolution to the conflict, however, I do fully understand that not all resolutions are peaceful; I simply am stating that that should be the ultimate goal. David Myers explain that Conflict and Peace as, a perceived incompatibility of actions or goals; and a condition marked by low levels of hostility and aggression and by mutually beneficial relationships (2012, pg. 482). Most of us have witnessed both Conflict and Peacemaking in media coverage of wars in other countries that may or may-not lead to peace treaties; to a smaller, more communal scale that may include you city, town, school, and work; and then broken down further to your home, your family and the challenges that may arise on a day-to-day premise of conflict and perhaps a peaceful resolution between the family members. We have all once or twice had complications with someone that we knew on a personal level. A conflict arises and either escalated to a breaking point or it came to a resolution (peaceful or not) agreement.
I have been married over 10 years (this year), and I can recall arguments that escalated to a breaking point, and I can recall arguments that after time and patience allowed us both to present and conduct the conflict in a more peaceful setting, in which an resolution would most likely follow. I personally believe that after time and patience helps the peace making process during or after a conflict, however, as in the example of my wife and me, most of the “not so peaceful” arguments took place in the beginning of our relationship, and the more peaceful arguments have come from growing maturely and respecting each other. This brings us to our final point, and that is respecting the other party to a degree when conducting peace making.
In order to make peacekeeping work there needs to be a certain amount of respect given from both parties towards one another. The reason why respect is one of the key components is explained best by Douglas E. Noll in his article, Respect in Conflict – Necessary but Difficult. Douglas writes, mutual respect is one of the first casualties of conflict; and they distance themselves from their emotions in conflict so as to keep control over their anger, frustration, or anxiety (2000, para. 7). The idea that respect is the first that goes in a conflict or argument should cue that in peace making or resolution that it should be the first characteristics that should be present. The message is even if you cannot stand the other party, their ideals, or their position; one must still respect and honor the contrary position.
References
Myers, D. G. (2012). Chapter 13 Conflict and Peacemaking. In Social
psychology (11th ed., p. 482). New York: McGraw-Hill.
Noll, D. E. (2000). Peacemaking. Peacemaking. Retrieved
from http://www.nollassociates.com/Columns/Peace19.htm
Tolstoy, L., Pevear, R., Volokhonsky, L., & Tolstoy, L.
(2007). War and peace. New York: Alfred A. Knopf.
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